WHAT YOU’LL LEARN

• The Role of Emotional Regulation in Breaking Cycles
• Connect to Grow: The Emotional Learning Process
• Overcoming Our Negative Core Beliefs
• Building Confidence as a Mom
• The Value of Repair in Breaking Cycles
• Supporting Ourselves and Our Children on the Emotional Learning Journey

We all want to break cycles and support our children’s emotional health. But how can we do that when we weren’t taught emotional learning or equipped with the skills we need?

It isn’t easy. We’re trying to learn emotional regulation, heal old wounds, develop new strategies, and teach them to our children all at the same time. And when we inevitably struggle (we are only human after all), we often feel like we’re failing our kids.

Emotional learning is a complex journey—and we need all the tools and resources we can get to help our children navigate their big feelings and work through them in a healthy way.

This week on The Momwell Podcast, I’m joined by the co-founders of Slumberkins, Kelly Oriard and Callie Christensen, to discuss what emotional learning looks like—both for our children and ourselves.

The Role of Emotional Regulation in Breaking Cycles

Kelly and Callie founded Slumberkins to equip parents and children with tools for emotional development and navigating feelings. With a background in mental health and education, the two saw firsthand how much families needed support in this area. And when they each became moms themselves, they understood how difficult it was to juggle the exhaustion and overwhelm while trying to help their children navigate their feelings. 

This led them on their journey to founding Slumberkins—a collection of books, plush toys for children, and resources for parents and educators, all centered around emotional learning. 

Slumberkins takes big feelings and challenges, like anger, feeling alone or out of control, resolving conflict, or coping with grief, and turns them into tangible, go-to tools, with books and affirmations to teach our children how to work through them. 

The biggest hurdle in breaking cycles lies within our own emotional learning.

Kelly and Callie recognized that the biggest hurdle in breaking cycles lies within our own emotional learning. Parenting is a humbling experience that requires ongoing emotional labor. And when we feel triggered or out of control, it’s difficult to know what to do.  

That’s why Slumberkins is empowering, not just for our kids, but for us. We often find ourselves shocked to struggle with anger, overstimulation, or emotional regulation as parents. But just like our kids’ feelings aren’t wrong, neither are ours. We can learn how to navigate them, express them, and work through them productively. And in turn, we model those strategies and behaviors for our children. 

Slumberkins' tools, like their plush characters, offer parents simple ways to connect and practice these skills with their children. 

Connect to Grow: The Emotional Learning Process

Kelly and Callie believe in an approach called Connect to Grow—a process for emotional learning that they highlight in their new book for parents, All Feelings Welcome. 

Emotional learning doesn’t happen overnight. But our kids can learn skills like conflict resolution or examining their anger with curiosity and thinking about what they need in those moments. 

The Connect to Grow approach involves interacting with children, talking about those skills, practicing them, and repeating them outside of tough moments. This makes it easier for children to access when in tough moments. 

For example, the Hammerhead Slumberkin teaches conflict resolution and navigating big feelings like anger. When a parent practices these skills with their child through the story and scripts included, it gives them both a tangible tool to reflect on when they encounter those feelings. 

The goal isn’t perfection—for us or our children.

Kelly and Callie emphasize that the goal isn’t perfection—for us or our children. Some days, we might be able to take a deep breath and stay regulated in a difficult moment. Other days, the situation might devolve. But with the right tools and framework, we can work through the moments, good or bad, and reflect on them together later. 

Overcoming Our Negative Core Beliefs

One of the driving concepts behind Slumberkins is tackling negative core beliefs and instilling positive ones instead. Our core beliefs are the deeply ingrained ideas we form about ourselves that shape our thoughts, feelings, and actions. 

For many of us, these beliefs stem from childhood experiences—and they show up in our parenting, often without us realizing it. 

Negative core beliefs might sound like, “I’m not enough,” “I’m invisible,” or “I have to be perfect.” 

Negative core beliefs often run quietly in the background without us realizing it. 

Kelly and Callie pointed out that we often don’t even realize we have these beliefs. For example, we might not identify with the core belief “I have to be perfect.” And yet, we might constantly push ourselves to be and do more, experiencing shame when we make parenting mistakes.

Negative core beliefs often run quietly in the background, telling us we are inadequate or unworthy. 

But we can rewrite the narratives playing out in our minds—and pass on healthier beliefs to our children, forming positive core beliefs for them. 

Slumberkins’ characters are designed to help parents and children tackle these core beliefs head-on. For example, the Bigfoot Kin is all about building self-esteem and challenging the belief that “I’m not enough.” Through affirmations and stories, Bigfoot reminds both parents and children that they are lovable just as they are, no matter what. 

Building Confidence as a Mom

Building confidence as a mom is an ongoing journey—one that requires self-compassion and the willingness to let go of the idea of perfection. We’re living in a society that puts a lot of unrealistic pressure on moms. 

When we inevitably fall short of perfection, it can feel like we’re not doing enough for our children. But our children don’t need us to be perfect. In fact, some of the most important emotional learning happens when we make mistakes.

Instead of beating ourselves up or falling into shame, we can remind ourselves that we can learn from mistakes—that we are enough, and that we can grow. 

Confidence is built through moments of connection and repair, not perfection.

Kelly and Callie emphasized that confidence is built through moments of connection and repair, not perfection. 

It’s valuable for our children to see us making mistakes and loving ourselves even with our imperfections. They can learn that their imperfections don’t define them, and that they are more than their choices or mistakes. 

Slumberkins offers a great example of fostering confidence through their character Yak Kin—who focuses on accepting mistakes and embracing imperfections. Through the Yak storylines and affirmations, children (and parents) learn that they don’t have to be perfect to be worthy of love and connection. 

This mindset is critical for moms who are working on breaking cycles of perfectionism and building confidence in themselves as parents.

The Value of Repair in Breaking Cycles

When we make mistakes (which we all do), it’s how we handle them that matters. This is where cycles are truly broken—not by perfection, but through repair. In fact, repair is one of the most powerful tools we have as parents.

By acknowledging our slip-ups, apologizing, and making things right, we teach our children that it’s okay to be human. We show them that we can repair and strengthen relationships through honesty and vulnerability.

Repairing includes apologizing to our children, taking accountability, and sharing what we will work on to do better in the future. This process strengthens our bond with our children and teaches them valuable lessons about taking responsibility for their mistakes, forgiving others, and having self-compassion. 

We won’t always get it right—no matter how many tools, scripts, or strategies we have.

We won’t always get it right—no matter how many tools, scripts, or strategies we have. There will be times when we lose our cool or say something we regret. But our mistakes don’t have to define us or our relationships with our kids. 

Repair might not come easily—many of us weren’t raised in homes where adults apologized to children. We might have been forced to apologize even when we didn’t mean it, creating a sense of shame and a lack of control in acknowledging our mistakes. But we can learn how to form effective repair and reconnection. 

Slumberkins’ character Repair Bear is designed to help with this process, giving parents a script to help navigate difficult conversations after a rupture. It reassures children that even when things go wrong, they are worthy of love and connection—and gives parents a starting point for repair. 

Supporting Ourselves and Our Children on the Emotional Learning Journey

Emotional learning is an ongoing process—but it’s a vital part of breaking cycles and becoming the parents we want to be. 

If we want our children to feel empowered and emotionally healthy, we need to model emotional regulation, confront our own core beliefs, and work to create an environment where all emotions are welcome.

Emotional learning is a lifelong journey. 

It takes patience, self-compassion, and willingness to learn, change, and grow. Most importantly, it takes remembering that we are human—and that our feelings are part of who we are. They aren’t something to bottle up or be ashamed of. 

Emotional learning is a lifelong journey, but with the right support, we can break cycles, build confidence, and foster emotional health in our families.

‍If you are struggling with emotional regulation, self-compassion, or perfectionism in motherhood, our mom therapists are here to help! Book a free 15 minute consult today.

^{This post includes links to outside resources we endorse–if you make a purchase we might receive a commission at no extra cost to you. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.}